Heyyy,
today i had a BBQ at Amys House....what I did not know before = it was actually FOR me ....uuuuh.....i really did not know =/ Made me feel responsible for thw whole succes directly,urgh....

I was happy to go home by myself at the end. It was quite long, from Kovan MRT to Jurong East,about 1 hour. I forgot my iPod and had a lot of time to reflect and also to read the newspaper ^^

First thing to share is maybe...the thing about crying. After what this wonderful teacher told me...it's like,my tears are completely blocked. After i cried the whole wednesday...i realized that crying also does not make you happier (is that a great discovery or only common sense?)...so i decided to act after my teachers words, and not cry anymore.....and somehow it is really working, even if i do not even try to block it,it simply IS blocked....
And seriously i had more than enough opportunities to cry...when i finally said goodbye to my teachers or today when they told me they are doing all this for me.....
and still i could not....
...even if Leonard really really got me close to it


Secondly...i talked to Max about my future plans...and wow...i really realized how detailed i have planned everything already....I have really no idea how disaoppinted i would be if it suddenly would not work out. I like...now the school i am going to already (good, there is only one school where i can go for that so, no surprise lor)...i just have to do my A-levels (Abitur,is it called in germany,and it's not the cambridge ones),study (best if overseas) and then go there apply and ya...hopefully i am able to go there then....and i am already starting to increase the possibility that they might take me in going overseas as often as possible and learning as many languages as possible...
but how about a backup-plan? I was asked the question, and when I now think about it, i am surprised how sure I was about my backup plan....a teacher.... seriously, i always said how much i dislike thinking about becoming a teacher. All the naughty students that won't listen, all the papers to correct and the only possibilitiy to go on vacation is during school holidays...but still, i took it as my first backup plan....i think, even if i dislike the thought of becoming a teacher, the fact that i think about it made it a possibility and hence, my backup.....but i am quite sure i am thinking about becoming a teacher at a university....not at a secondary school or JC....
Thinking about it now i find better backup plans that are easier connected to my first choice....

Thirdly, to go from what happened before the bbq, then during to after....
during my train ride i read the sunday times (you know there is a classphoto of my beloved 3B inside? Check it out at page 5 of the err....classified section, we are in blue...but the caption is crap,wrong!!)....there was this article about euthanasia....i have never thought about this before....or actuallt i have... but nah,i did it again =P
Euthanasia means literally "Good Death" in old Greek.Basically it means that, a person who knows that he/she will die in the near future may decide to die painless by an injection before having to suffer from great pain during the last days.
I was always against the legalisation, but, kind of funny, i personally would maybe want to chose that way. If i really knew i will die in 3 months time and in my last days i will not feel much more than pain, i may prefer to get an injection while sleeping and never waking up. The death everyone wishes for, just fall asleep and never wake up again...peaceful
Still,it is true that it is very difficult to ensure that the decision was made by the person under his sound mind and voluntarily....the person maybe feels that he/she is a burden to his/her family .... or he/she may be suffering of serious depression, wanting to die rather than wanting to escape pain etc....
It is also simply a very horrifying idea....no one should have the right to kill another person....
but it is like damn hard to give yourself the injection while sleeping....(if i would not be sleeping it is not peaceful for me...)

whoooa,how you can lose yourself in this idea...maybe i should think about that when i am older....i am not seeing any reason to suffer from a painful disease in the next time...soo....relax Annika.....


Some more....now....purely hypothetical....you have this friend A. And she is from Country X and is a citizen of country X. Then she is Y years old and studies at institution Z....now when she meets new people, she does not say she is from X and avoids any questions about X and Y as well, not telling the truth....Does this really matter? i mean, it is bad enough if it matters for others and they treat you differently....but it is like a completely different thing if you yourself think you should better not tell it to anyone.....you like...i mean....damn it....how can you ever stop it if you follow it yourself?????

You see,one day no iPod and you think about a lot of things ^^
Tmr Deepavali, actually i should go and find some sort of parade...if there is.... let's see....
I want to thank my wonderful church friends who made the bbq tonight, and that so many of you came and Charlene for her present...
And especially Amy for the present...

Quote of the day= Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think
Pictures later,
Take cares,
Annika

11:31 PM ·